What Are Symptoms Of Anxiety In Children?

No one wants to think about their child experiencing anxiety. Childhood is supposed to be carefree and worry-free. 

Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. We’re living in a world where kids are growing up more anxious than ever thanks to everything from global pandemics to rapidly-moving technology. 

While you might not be able to stop anxiety from occurring in your child, you can learn to recognize the signs and symptoms. The more aware you are of those symptoms, the easier it will be to get an official diagnosis and ensure your child gets the help they need and deserve. 

Anxiety can be a very manageable condition, but it doesn’t often go away on its own. Helping your child understand what they’re going through and how to handle their symptoms starts with knowing what those signs are. 

Let’s take a closer look at the symptoms of anxiety in children, and what you should expect. 

Changes in Normal Habits

Children thrive on routine, and when that routine is disrupted by something like anxiety, it will be noticeable. It might also start to negatively impact other areas of their life. 

One of the first things you might notice if your child has anxiety is a change in their eating and/or sleeping routine. They might have trouble sleeping at night, or complain about having bad dreams. Those dreams can wake them up and make it difficult to get back to sleep.

Unfortunately, anxiety and a lack of sleep can often feel like a vicious cycle. The less sleep your child gets, the more anxious they can become. 

They also might stop eating properly, which can be dangerous to their health. You know what your child likes and doesn’t like. If those habits start to change drastically, or they aren’t eating as much as they should, it could be cause for concern. 

Difficulty Concentrating

Has your child been struggling in school, or having trouble staying focused even at home? If that’s unusual for them, it could be anxiety making it difficult for them to focus. 

It’s not uncommon for anxiety to completely take over your thoughts. Your little one could be struggling with constant worry. Or, they could be fighting back against negative thoughts trying to plague them all day. 

Not only is that exhausting, but it makes it hard to focus on just about anything else. That can result in difficulties at school, having trouble getting things done, or even being fully present while they listen.

Anger and Irritability

Depending on your child’s age, they might have a difficult time effectively expressing their emotions. 

But, if you’ve noticed that your child is having more “angry” outbursts lately, it could be a sign of something deeper going on. 

Getting irritable or expressing anger quickly is a common symptom of anxiety in children. Their outbursts might seem out of control, and you might have a hard time helping them calm down or get back to a more neutral state. 

If your child is typically easy-going or doesn’t get angry easily, this sign should be one of the most obvious in recognizing there’s a bigger problem. 

What Can You Do?

If you’re worried your child might be dealing with anxiety, the best thing you can do is support them, and seek out professional help. They deserve an official diagnosis so they can start on a treatment plan that fits their needs. 

It’s never too early or too late to reach out for help for your child. Don’t hesitate to contact us for more information or to set up an appointment. Your child doesn’t have to live with the negative effects of anxiety forever. Getting them help now with anxiety treatment will set them up for a future that isn’t filled with fear and worry. 

4 Ways On How To Deal With Anxiety When You Are A POC

Despite living in the 21st century, racial anxiety is still very real. In many cases, it’s just as prominent as ever, especially for People of Color (POC) living in certain communities across the country. 

You might feel like you don’t fit in, to the point where you’re disregarded or even degraded. You might even be fearful of your community, or even the state of the country itself. 

Needless to say, it’s not uncommon to deal with anxiety when you’re a POC. 

While you might not be able to change the state of the world on your own, there are things you can do to manage your personal anxiety and find some peace of mind, no matter your situation. 

Let’s cover a few tips on how to deal with anxiety when you’re a POC, so you can take more control over your thoughts without letting your fears consume you.

1. Find a Support System

One of the best things you can do to manage your anxiety is to spend more time with like-minded individuals. Seek out other POC in your community who might be struggling with the same worries. 

You might even consider joining a support group, or an organization specifically meant to help POC deal with such things. 

Knowing you’re surrounded by people who understand you and want to lift you up can make a big difference. It will give you something to look forward to and can boost your comfort levels while reducing your anxiety.

2. Be More Mindful

Most anxiety stems from worrying about “what if?” 

For POC, those “what ifs” can include thinking about the past and wondering what life might be like if things were done differently. It also might include being fearful about what the future brings. 

Unfortunately, it’s easy for those “what if” thoughts to spiral out of control, fueling and feeding your fear to the point where it becomes overwhelming. 

A good way to manage those thoughts is to practice mindfulness. By focusing on the present moment and practicing deep breathing, you can let those worrying thoughts pass you by. It’s a great practice to understand and apply, and it can help you manage your symptoms every day.

3. Focus On What You Can Control

Again, because anxiety tends to stem from “what if” situations, it gets worse when you focus on everything out of your control. 

We all struggle with circumstances we can’t do anything about, but it’s often worse for POC who might be dealing with lingering effects of racism or discrimination. The world at large needs to continue to make changes and progress forward, but it’s not going to happen overnight, and it’s something you can be a part of but can’t control completely. 

Instead of focusing your fear on those major things, choose to focus instead on what you can control. 

What areas of your life are you confident in? What can you change? How can you make an impact right now? When you start to focus your attention on what you can do instead of what you can’t, your worries will feel smaller.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

There are still plenty of stigmas surrounding mental health, especially in many POC communities. People sometimes view anxiety as a weakness or evidence of having little self-control. 

That simply isn’t true. 

If you had a friend struggling with anxiety, think about how you would treat them. Chances are, you would be compassionate, understanding, and loving. 

Why not treat yourself the same way? 

The more you try to ignore your emotions or even criticize yourself for feeling them, the more intense they’re likely to become. It’s important to accept your feelings as real and valid and show yourself compassion and kindness as you navigate through them. 

If you’re a POC struggling with anxiety, these strategies can help. However, it’s always a good idea to talk to a mental health professional if you’re worried you can’t overcome your racing thoughts. Feel free to contact us for more information or to set up an appointment for anxiety counseling.

How Does The Brain Cause Anxiety?

Anxiety is widely-known as the most common mental health condition in the world. It impacts people differently and ranges in severity. 

Most people who have anxiety are able to recognize what triggers them. Getting to the root cause of individual anxiety is also an important step in treatment. 

However, not many people know exactly how the brain causes anxiety. What is happening in your mind to make you feel so nervous, worried, or fearful? 

Let’s take a closer look at what happens in the brain to trigger feelings of anxiety, and why it’s important to understand the functions of your mind and what’s happening while you’re worried. 

What Part of the Brain Causes Anxiety? 

The amygdala is the part of the brain responsible for “causing” anxiety. 

It works as a central hub for communication in the brain, connecting parts that process incoming sensory signals and parts that interpret them. You’ve likely heard of the “fight or flight” response. The amygdala is responsible for that. If a sensory signal is processed as something dangerous or something to be scared of, your amygdala will trigger a response, and your mind and body will react accordingly. 

The Amygdala in the Anxious Brain

When you’re dealing with anxiety, the amygdala is hypersensitive. Because of that, it doesn’t always work correctly. Rather, it tends to work “overtime” when it’s not necessary. 

When the amygdala is hypersensitive, it can send “false alarms,” triggering your fight or flight response even when there isn’t a real threat or danger. 

A Lack of Rationalization

If you’ve been dealing with anxiety for a while, it can weaken the connection between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that makes it possible to problem-solve and work through difficult situations. It allows you to think rationally, rather than relying on impulses. 

When that connection is weak, you’re less likely to process information correctly. Instead of coming up with a logical response to a perceived threat, you’re more likely to think irrationally, and even partake in impulsive and potentially dangerous behaviors. 

The Effects of Anxiety On Your Brain

While certain areas of the brain contribute to anxiety, it’s a vicious cycle. The longer you deal with worried, anxious thoughts, the more your brain will hold onto them. Anxiety causes a lot of stress, which can shrink your hippocampus – the part of your brain responsible for storing memories. 

As a result, you’ll be more likely to store anxious and negative memories, which can perpetuate the cycle and leave you in a pit of negativity. Your happier memories are still there, they’re just buried underneath everything else. 

What Can You Do If You Have Anxiety? 

Understanding how anxiety works in the brain is a good first step toward getting treatment. If you’ve been struggling with symptoms of anxiety, now you know why. However, there’s a long way to go in essentially “rewiring” the way your brain works. 

It starts by uncovering the underlying cause of your fear. You don’t have to do that on your own. Therapy makes a big difference for people with anxiety. Not only will you get to the root of your issues, but you’ll learn skills to manage your anxious thoughts on a daily basis. 

The more you work on combatting your anxiety, the easier it will be to break free from that cycle. 

Anxiety rarely goes away on its own, largely because of how it impacts your brain. However, with anxiety treatment and management techniques, you can take control of your anxious thoughts and get them under control. If you’re struggling with anxiety, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Feel free to contact us today. 

I'm Always Anxious About My Health...What Is This?

Anxiety is the most common mental health condition in the world. However, it looks different for everyone. 

Maybe you’re anxious about something specific like you’re health. Does your well-being consume your thoughts? Are you always worried about getting sick, or wondering if you already are sick?

As we emerge from a global pandemic, more people are conscious of their health than ever. However, there’s a fine line between wanting to take care of your health, and constantly worrying about it. 

If you find that you’re always anxious about your health and wellness, it’s important to get to the bottom of it so you can take care of yourself without being fearful of the “what ifs”. 

Why Are You Anxious About Your Health? 

There are plenty of reasons why you might be anxious about your health. That’s why it’s so important to get to the “root” of the matter. 

You might have a family history of certain conditions. Maybe your mother had breast cancer or a handful of people have dealt with heart disease or Parkinson’s. 

While none of these things mean you’re destined to get sick, hereditary illnesses can trigger a lot of worry and fear. 

We’re also living in very uncertain times. 

Again, we’re just coming out of a global pandemic that lasted two years. During that time, everyone was given a lot of information – some of which may have been confusing at times. Regardless of where anyone stands on the pandemic, vaccines, or the “political” side of things, COVID-19 was a widespread illness that elicited fear in a lot of people. 

That’s caused many to become hypervigilant about their health. While that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it can quickly turn into a fearful obsession if you’re not careful. 

What Is This Anxious Feeling Called?

Health anxiety or hypochondria are the names often used to describe the condition of someone spending too much time worrying about their health. 

When you spend so much time worrying about being sick or getting sick, it can quickly take over your life. 

Maybe you spend your days looking up symptoms you think you might have. Or, maybe you research certain conditions and worry you have the risk factors that make you more likely to contract it. Some of the more common symptoms of this condition include

• Worrying that minor symptoms mean you’ve got a major illness

• Not feeling any comfort or reassurance from your doctor after a visit

• Constant fear about the status of your health

Again, it’s perfectly fine to be vigilant about your health. However, when fear of being ill takes over your life, it’s important to accept that label of hypochondria. The sooner you realize you’re dealing with something more serious than a healthy worry about your wellness, the sooner you can do something about it. 

How to Manage Health Anxiety

If you know you’re overly anxious about your health, don’t be afraid to seek out help. 

Working with a therapist can help you get to the bottom of your hypochondria. 

Maybe it was triggered by something from your past. Maybe the pandemic itself caused something to “switch” in you that’s created so much fear and uncertainty. 

Whatever the case, getting to the underlying issue is the best place to start, and you don’t have to do it on your own. Not only can therapy help you get to the root cause of your health anxiety, but it can help you with different ways of managing it. 

If you’re anxious about your health and it’s starting to take over your life, don’t hesitate to contact us for more information on how anxiety treatment can help you or to set up an appointment. 

5 Things You Should Know About High Functioning Anxiety And What It Is

Many people have heard of high-functioning depression before, but high-functioning anxiety isn’t talked about as often. However, it’s just as important to understand what it is.

The more you know about high-functioning anxiety, the easier it is to determine if you’re dealing with it, and how you can cope. 

If you do discover that you’re living with high-functioning anxiety, it doesn’t mean you have to keep dealing with it every day. You deserve relief and peace as much as those with more debilitating fear. 

With that in mind, let’s take a look at five things you should know about high-functioning anxiety and what it is.

1. You Might Be a People-Pleaser

One of the reasons it can be so hard to diagnose high-functioning anxiety is that people mistake it for different things. 

For example, you might consider yourself a people pleaser. Maybe you have a hard time saying no to requests. Or, maybe you go out of your way to make others happy, even at your own expense. 

While it isn’t always a sign of anxiety, constantly looking for approval from others can be an underlying worry you should address.

2. Insomnia and Fatigue

The average adult should get between 7-9 hours of sleep each night. 

When was the last time you got that much? 

Insomnia and fatigue can be common signs of many physical and mental health conditions. However, if you find yourself tossing and turning each night, unable to sleep because you’re worried about something, or dwelling on mistakes and/or fears, it could be a sign of anxiety. It may not be enough to impact your life. However, eventually, not getting enough sleep can lead to serious health issues.

3. You’re a Perfectionist

Most people look at perfectionism as a mostly positive thing. They’re seen as people with a lot of drive and motivation to succeed. 

However, perfectionism often comes with a price. 

It’s never a bad thing to do your best and strive for greatness. However, perfectionism is impossible. When you set unrealistic expectations for yourself, it’s easy to feel anxious, because deep down you know they’ll never be met. 

Unfortunately, perfectionism can create a vicious cycle in your mind, fueling your worrying thoughts and making you feel like a failure.

4. You Dwell On Past Mistakes

Do you find yourself thinking about things you’ve done wrong almost constantly? Maybe they’re not even major issues, but you can’t seem to stop dwelling on them. 

It’s not uncommon for people to think about their past, and even feel guilty or worried about things they’ve done. However, if those thoughts consume you or you find yourself thinking about them frequently, it could be a sign of high-functioning anxiety. These thoughts might not keep you from going about your day, but they can be distracting, lower your self-esteem, and make it hard to stay focused on the things you need to do.

5. You Always Expect The Worst

While it’s okay to weigh the risks of things, people with high-functioning anxiety often expect the worst in every situation. Unfortunately, that makes it nearly impossible to ever relax and enjoy the moment, no matter what you’re doing. 

Obviously, that takes away a lot of life’s simple joys and pleasures, and can even lead to feelings of depression. 

If any of these things sound familiar, you could be dealing with high-functioning anxiety without even realizing it. 

The good news? You don’t have to feel this way forever. 

Feel free to contact us to learn more about anxiety therapy. By taking action now, you can keep your fears from becoming all-consuming, you can get to the root cause of your anxiety, and start to take control of your life once again. 

What Exactly Is Social Anxiety, Anyways?

Most people have at least heard of social anxiety. You probably have a basic understanding of what it is – a fear of social situations. However, labeling it so broadly doesn’t exactly cover the huge impact this type of anxiety has on its sufferers. 

Social anxiety is so much more than a fear of social situations on a grand scale. You don’t have to be speaking in front of an audience of thousands to experience it. 

Rather, it could be an intense fear about giving a presentation at work, or going to a get-together with friends. You could even experience it when you miss out on a social event and you find yourself worrying about what people might be saying “behind your back.” 

Like most types of anxiety, it can impact everyone differently. 

However, there are a few common symptoms of social anxiety that can help you identify if you’re struggling with it. The sooner you recognize the signs and how to accept them, the sooner you can reach out to get the help you deserve. 

So, what is social anxiety, and what does it look like? 

What Triggers Social Anxiety? 

Social anxiety disorder can impact almost anyone. However, there are some people who may be more susceptible to it. 

As a child, if you were bullied, teased, or rejected by others (including friends and/or family), you may be more prone to experiencing extreme worry in social situations. Things like familial abuse or even relationship abuse can also contribute to social anxiety. 

Some people might not even know they’re dealing with the condition until they experience certain triggers. Again, those can be different for everyone. However, some of the most common include

• Performances

• Meeting new people

• Making small talk

• Dating

• Having to state your opinion

Again, you don’t have to be in a room with dozens of people to experience this type of anxiety. Even the idea of having to meet one new person or socialize at a small gathering can be enough to trigger your symptoms. 

Common Symptoms 

So, what are those symptoms? They can affect you both physically and mentally. When you’re in the throes of social anxiety, you might start to feel nauseous. You might tremble, feel dizzy, or have difficulty speaking. 

From an emotional standpoint, you’ll start to worry about being judged or embarrassed. You might even worry that something you say will offend someone. 

These symptoms can take a toll on your physical and mental well-being, perpetuating a vicious cycle that is difficult to break. 

How to Combat Social Anxiety

It’s not always easy to admit that you’re struggling with social anxiety. It can leave you feeling like some kind of outcast, or wondering why you just can’t “fit in” in social situations. 

However, it’s important to reach out for help if you’re experiencing any of the signs and symptoms listed here. Talking to a mental health professional is a great place to start. 

By seeking out treatment for social anxiety, you’ll accomplish a few things. 

First, your therapist will work with you to get to the “root cause” of your worry. That might require you to step back into situations that happened in childhood. While it’s not always pleasant, it’s necessary to understand where your worries stem from so you have a stronger way to fight back against them. 

As you work through those underlying issues, you’ll learn techniques and skills to build your confidence and let go of your fears. Your therapist will work with you to improve your ability to connect with other people without falling victim to worry. 

If the symptoms and triggers of social anxiety sound familiar, understand that you’re not alone. Feel free to contact us for more information or to set up an appointment. You don’t have to struggle with this fear forever. 

4 Small Steps To Help You Overcome Social Anxiety

There’s a difference between being introverted or a “homebody” and having a strong, unhealthy fear of being in social situations. Maybe you don’t like to be in large groups of people, or you’re worried about speaking in public. Maybe you start to panic long before you know a social event is coming up, and your negative thoughts threaten to take over everything. 

If that sounds familiar, you could be struggling with social anxiety. 

Social anxiety occurs when social interactions cause irrational fears. Sometimes, even just the thought of being in a group or having to speak can cause your anxiety to spike. 

Obviously, that can be crippling for your friendships, career, or even romantic relationships. 

Thankfully, social anxiety doesn’t have to consume your life forever. You can take steps to overcome it and start taking control of your thoughts again. Let’s cover a few ways you can get control over your social anxiety, and you might eventually enjoy the social interaction causing so much fear right now.

1. Prepare Yourself

Often, you’ll know ahead of time when you have to face a social situation. Maybe it’s a get-together with friends, a meeting for work, or even a big event. 

While it can be overwhelming to think about, you can calm your nerves and take more control by planning ahead. 

If you’re worried you won’t have anything to talk about, scroll through social media or check the news to come up with a few conversation points. If you’re nervous about fumbling over your words, practice a few things you might want to say. 

While you don’t want to seem stiff or rehearsed, a little extra preparedness can go a long way in making you feel better about social situations. 

2. Take Baby Steps

You probably won’t overcome social anxiety by determining you’re going to a major event one day. 

Instead, you can combat your fears by starting small and going at your own pace. 

Connect with a couple close friends over coffee. If that goes well, try riding the subway. If you’re still feeling calm, volunteer to lead a meeting at work. 

Don’t let anyone try to push you beyond what you’re ready for. When you decide to take baby steps, you’re giving yourself more control.

3. Stop Focusing On Yourself

One of the biggest issues people with social anxiety face is feeling like everyone is paying attention to them. 

In reality, that probably isn’t the case. You’re just hyper-focused on yourself and your fear. 

Work to take that focus off of yourself by putting it on other people. Take in the people around you and what they’re talking about. You’ll quickly find that no one is thinking about how anxious you are or judging you for it – they probably don’t even know. 

Once you realize that, it’s much easier to feel comfortable.

4. Distract Yourself With Your Senses

It can be overwhelming to be in a social setting and start to panic. When you feel like you can’t control your fears, they can keep getting bigger. One of the best things you can do when that happens is to distract yourself using your senses. 

Chew a piece of gum the next time you’re feeling fearful over a social situation. Or, carry one of your favorite scents with you. You can also scroll through comforting pictures on your phone. Utilizing your senses can serve as welcome distractions while offering you a sense of comfort. 

While these steps can all help you overcome social anxiety, the best thing you can do is get to the root of the issue. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out for help, and work with us to develop long-term solutions to combat social anxiety. 

Is Art Therapy Effective In Helping With Anxiety?

Millions of people across the globe deal with anxiety. While symptoms can vary, there is one “silver lining” to the condition’s popularity – it has many treatment options. 

Because anxiety impacts everyone differently, different types of therapies and methods of treatment have come to the forefront over the years. What helps one person with their worries and anxious thoughts might not help another. 

Some people, for example, might not enjoy a typical talk therapy treatment option. Maybe you’re more of a creative individual and used to expressing yourself in that way. 

If that’s the case, you might want to consider art therapy to help with your anxiety. 

What Is Art Therapy?

Art therapy is the use of the artistic expression to alleviate your symptoms and feelings of anxiety. 

There’s no denying that art, in general, has therapeutic benefits. Simply looking at a piece of artwork can help you feel more relaxed and let your mind wander into more positive places. 

Art therapy takes things one step further. 

Instead of simply appreciating the artwork of others, you create your own art to express your thoughts and feelings. Things like painting, drawing, or even sculpting can help you become more in tune with your innermost feelings and express them in ways that might otherwise be hard to talk about. 

What Are the Benefits?

You don’t have to be a perfect artist to reap the rewards of art therapy. If you’re willing to tap into your creative side, you will stop ruminating on the root cause of your anxiety. You also won’t feel the pressure of having to talk about your feelings. 

Instead, you can sit in a comfortable, stress-free environment and express yourself through your art. Some of the benefits of art therapy for anxiety include

• It serves as a distraction

• It regulates your nervous system

• Your focus will be on one thing

• Reduced stress

You can also boost your self-esteem, improve your concentration, and have an easier time solving problems with art therapy. You’ll gain more insight into yourself than ever before, and when you have a fuller understanding of who you are, where your anxiety is coming from, and who you want to be, your anxiety will have less power. 

Is Art Therapy Right for You?

Art therapy is often used in conjunction with other treatment options for anxiety. Many people already involved in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or even group therapy use it as a supplement to make it easier to tap into their emotions. 

If you’re having a hard time connecting with your inner thoughts and struggles, art therapy can help. If you’re not great at expressing yourself through words alone, it can also make a big difference. 

How to Get Started

Again, you don’t have to be an accomplished artist to reap the benefits of this type of therapy. There’s nothing stopping you from picking up a pencil or paint right now and engaging your creative side. Even on your own, you can use art to reduce stress and serve as a distraction.

However, if you want to get the most from art therapy, consider working with a qualified professional.

A therapist can guide you through various artistic exercises. You’ll still be able to let your creativity shine, but in a way that can help you better understand your emotions and eventually release the negative ones. 

Interested in learning more about art therapy? Feel free to contact us for information. Art therapy might not be for everyone. But, whether you’re a creative person or you’ve just always appreciated the artwork of others, it could be a great solution for managing your anxiety. 

My Child Is So Anxious, What Can I Do?

No parent wants to see their child struggle in any way. So, if you’ve noticed that your child is more anxious than normal, or that their anxiety has completely taken over, you might feel both helpless and hopeless.

Thankfully, there are things you can do to help your child work through their anxiety at just about any age. 

That doesn’t mean “fixing” everything for them. Rather, it’s important to teach them how to manage their anxiety so they can take those skills with them into adulthood. 

So, what can you do if you have an anxious child? How can you help your child fight back against those worrying thoughts?

Recognize the Goal

Anxiety is the most common mental health condition in the world. Thankfully, it’s also very manageable with the right skills and techniques. 

With that in mind, your goal shouldn’t be to “eliminate” anxiety from your child’s life. Rather, you should help them learn how to manage it. If they tend to be naturally worried about certain things, teaching them skills to combat those feelings will help them on a long-term basis, not just in the moment. 

While you might want to completely take away their fear, it’s more important to teach them how to handle it. 

Understand Their Triggers

Chances are, there’s something specific triggering your child’s anxious thoughts. 

Maybe they’re nervous about a bully at school. Maybe the uncertainty of the world has them fearful, especially if they don’t fully understand it. 

Understanding your child’s trigger(s) is a great way to help them work through their thoughts and feelings. It might be tempting to help them avoid all of those triggers. However, that isn’t a long-term solution. 

While you don’t have to force your child to face all their fears at once, don’t shield them from everything either. Work with them to slowly and effectively face what they’re scared of, and ensure them that they’re safe. Teach them coping mechanisms along the way, and they’ll eventually see that their fears are unwarranted. 

Help Them Manage Their Symptoms

There are many effective ways to help your child manage their symptoms. It’s about finding ways to cope that work for them. That could include things like

• Physical activity

• Stress management techniques like deep breathing or meditation

• Journaling/drawing what they’re feeling

If your child is old enough, you can also guide them through things like mindfulness, or the practice of staying in the present. It requires a bit of focus, so it might not be the best technique for a very young child. However, it’s extremely effective for adults, and can help with older children and teens. 

You should let your child know that you understand their feelings. They need to feel validated and not be “dismissed.” While their fears might seem irrational to you, they are very real to your little one. Rather than telling them to “get over it,” use one of the techniques listed above. 

Don’t Do It On Your Own

One of the best things you can do for your anxious child is to reach out to a professional. 

Anxiety hardly ever goes away on its own. But, working through it with a mental health professional can make it easier to manage now, and in the future. 

A therapist, for example, will help your child by getting to the “root” of the anxiety itself. Once your child has a better understanding of where their anxiety stems from, they’ll also be able to manage it more effectively. 

If your child is anxious, you don’t have to wait to get them the help they deserve – you don’t have to feel helpless. You can also view more information about our group for children who have anxiety, Calm Crusaders. Feel free to contact us for more information. 

People Pleasing, No Thank you.

Being selfless and willing to do things for others is never a bad thing. Everyone could lend a helping hand more often, and the world would be a better place. 

However, there’s a fine line between helping out when you can, and never saying “no” when someone asks something of you. Whether your co-workers are always getting you to do their work, your friends are dragging you along to places you don’t want to go, or your family is volunteering you for things you’re not interested in, you could be getting walked all over on a daily basis. 

Sound familiar? 

If so, you’re probably a people pleaser – and, you’re probably exhausted. 

Thankfully, there are things you can do to learn to say “no” effectively and kindly. You don’t have to regularly feel burnt out just because you’re trying to appease everyone. 

With that in mind, let’s look at some ways to stop people-pleasing, so you can take control of your own life. 

Set the Right Boundaries

The best way to stop people-pleasing is to set boundaries. They should be set for yourself, and for the people in your life. 

Boundaries aren’t unkind or unfair. They’re necessary to maintain a healthy balance within your life and to keep others from taking advantage of you. 

Your boundaries can be different depending on who you’re dealing with. For example, you might set boundaries with co-workers by saying you can’t take on any more work for them, but you can offer your advice or support. 

When it comes to your friends, your boundaries might involve limiting your time with certain ones who are always begging you to go places you don’t want to or get involved in activities that don’t interest you. 

Make your boundaries clear and direct. Most people in your life will appreciate and respect them. 

Make Time for Yourself

We live in an era where self-care is becoming more prominent and popular than ever. But, it’s more than just a buzzword. It’s something everyone needs and deserves – including people-pleasers!

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to set aside time each day to find ways to relax. Even if you have to pencil it into your schedule, making time for self-care is crucial. Try things like exercising, meditating, or journaling to reduce your stress and feel more in-tune with your innermost self. 

When you make self-care a priority, you’ll also start to realize your value and worth. It can boost your self-esteem and confidence, and make it easier to say “no” to things you don’t want to do. 

You Can’t Please Everyone

Even if you’ve been a people-pleaser for as long as you can remember, chances are you’ve never been able to make everyone happy. 

People tend to have notoriously high expectations, and it’s often hard to meet them. If you’ve stretched yourself too thin, you’re not going to be able to give everyone your best. You could end up “letting them down” even if you’ve agreed to do something. 

Instead, focus on saying “yes” to things that you really want to do. Help the people who really need it. You’ll be able to dedicate more time to them without feeling overwhelmed. As for those who you have to turn down, don’t give it too much thought. You’re only one person, and you can’t please everyone. 

Learning to be assertive isn’t always easy. But, the more you take care of yourself through healthy boundaries and daily relaxation, the more you’ll realize how strong you are. It will become easier to stand up for yourself with time, so you can enjoy more of the things you love without feeling pulled in a hundred different directions.

If you need help easing your anxiety over wanting to people please, connect with us so we can help you assert your boundaries.

How Your Perfectionism Is Actually Hurting You

People tend to see perfectionism in different ways. On one hand, it can be viewed as a good thing. Maybe you just like things done correctly, and you push yourself to be your best. 

Unfortunately, many perfectionists take that idea too far. There’s a big difference between doing your best and feeling like no matter what you do, it’s never good enough. 

Real perfectionism can end up controlling everything you do. It can hinder your productivity, negatively impact your relationships, and even damage your self-esteem and confidence. 

Whether you consider yourself a perfectionist or not, it’s important to know how it could hurt you, and what you can do to be your best without crossing that potentially harmful line. 

It’s Causing You to Procrastinate

Most people think perfectionists get everything done on time and that every project, assignment, and contribution is done, well - perfectly!

Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. 

When you’re so caught up in something being perfect, you might procrastinate or put it off because you’re so worried about the quality. The reality is, no matter how badly you want to be perfect, no one is. Recognizing that whatever you turn in might not meet your unrealistic expectations will make you put it off until the last minute. 

Of course, procrastination often leads to rushing through things. So, you might not complete your project with the quality you want. 

That leads to a vicious cycle. The more you procrastinate, the more your productivity suffers. The more your productivity suffers, the harder you’ll end up being on yourself. 

It’s Impacting Your Health

Constantly focusing on perfection can cause a lot of excess stress in your life. 

That kind of stress often leads to anxiety and depression, contributing to physical symptoms like

• Sleep issues

• Changes in eating habits

• Digestive problems

• Headaches

• Muscle aches/pains

These symptoms can also be cyclical. For example, the more worried you are about being perfect, the harder it will be to get a good night’s rest. The less sleep you get, the more fuel your brain will create for conditions like anxiety and depression. 

It’s Damaging Your Self-Esteem

No matter how much you might want to be perfect, it’s not possible. Perfectionism can cause you to create unrealistic expectations for yourself – and others. 

Unfortunately, when you end up not meeting those expectations, it can take a toll on your self-esteem. You might end up believing negative self-talk and questioning your worth. While that can drive you to be even more of a perfectionist, it will end up doing more damage to your confidence along the way. 

It’s Affecting Your Relationships

It’s important to understand that your perfectionism impacts more than just you. 

When your idea of perfectionism extends beyond what you do, you might develop unrealistic expectations for others in your life. That can include co-workers, romantic partners, friends, and family members. When they don’t live up to those expectations, you might “blow up” on them or criticize them. 

Alternatively, you might become incredibly defensive against anyone who calls out your imperfections. Even if it’s a co-worker offering constructive criticism, it can be hard to hear and accept when you have unrealistic standards. 

As you can see, perfectionism isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Crossing that line of “doing your best” can be harmful to your mental and physical health, as well as your personal and professional lives. 

If you think your perfectionism or anxiety is causing problems in your life, there are things you can do to let it go! Feel free to contact me for more information, or to set up an appointment. Together, we’ll go over skills that can help you manage your expectations, and lead a perfectly imperfect life.

Stop......Worry Time!

Want to decrease the amount of time you’ve been worrying? Schedule “worry time” by “parking it on post it”. The unfortunate truth is that we will probably never be able to completely stop worrying. However, we can learn to worry more effectively. This is where scheduled worry time comes in.

It may sound counterintuitive, but employing this CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) tool can help you develop control over the frequency and timing of your worry.

How do you do this?

1. Worry Awareness – recognizing when we experience worry thoughts through becoming aware of what’s happening in the present moment, in this case, it’s noticing the worrying thoughts. This process takes practice, so don’t give up too quickly or easily. Awareness is the first step, then we try to except that we are in fact worrying. Do not judge yourself! Judging is for the birds. 🦜

2. Set up worry time. It literally is a time of day in which you have dedicated to worry. I suggest not super close to bedtime, but a time that enough of the day has devolved. By compartmentalizing worry – setting aside a specific half hour. Each day to think about worries and consider solutions then people can ultimately help reduce those worries.

3. Between the scheduled worry times is when “Park it on a Post-it” is implemented. This will feel hard at first and you may have to reinforce some self talk (like telling yourself to just let go of this thinking until you’re worried time. Or that you’ll definitely get to it later). This whole step ensures that a part of you that’s worrying gets attention and is seen, yet also it isn’t consuming what you really want to be doing which is *not* worrying. Our goal is to become more comfortable with the discomfort of the unknown by not feeding worry and also by fortifying a connection to your here and now experience (remember, worry is about the future).

4. Break it down, Stop, Worry time! (Sung in MC Hammer tune.) Go over your post it notes or “worry list“ during this time. If the thoughts that you wrote down are still bothering you, allow yourself to worry about them, but only for the amount of time that you’ve specified for your worry.

Thank you @gettyimages and of course @mchammer