Complicated Grief: What to Know and How to Heal

Almost everyone will experience grief at some point in life. We all go through periods of loss, and grief can come from more than just losing someone you love. It can happen when you lose a job, sell a home, or make another major life change.

Complicated grief, however, is a bit different. It’s an ongoing, heightened sense of mourning. This kind of grief often prevents the person dealing with it from fully healing and moving forward with their life.

What causes complicated grief, and how is it different? More importantly, what can you do to heal and find peace when you’re dealing with it? Let’s take a closer look.

What Causes Complicated Grief?

There isn’t one underlying cause that creates complicated grief. Rather, it typically has to do with several factors, including the type of loss you’re experiencing and your mental health state or history.

For example, complicated grief is more likely to occur when there’s an unexpected or shocking death, like a tragic accident or suicide. Experiencing multiple losses at once can also contribute to this kind of grief.

On a personal level, everything from a history of anxiety or depression, or negative childhood experiences, to social isolation can increase your risk of experiencing complicated grief. These factors often make it more likely to develop a preoccupation with the loss you’re experiencing, so it’s hard to think about anything else, let alone move forward.

What Are the Symptoms?

On the surface, the symptoms of complicated grief look similar to “normal” grief. But you’re likely to experience more intense, harmful feelings that can quickly have a negative impact on your quality of life.

Complicated grief creates intense emotional pain. You’re likely to experience longing, loneliness, sadness, and potentially even anger or guilt. Some people struggle with identity disruption. You might feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself and you don’t know who you are.

It usually doesn’t take long for the effects of complicated grief to impact nearly every area of life. You might have trouble simply getting through the day and functioning the way you should. It can cause sleep disturbances, physical health problems like a loss of appetite, and even suicidal thoughts.

How Can You Heal?

When you’re dealing with complicated grief, the weight of your emotions can often feel overwhelming. Don’t try to sweep those feelings under the rug. Acknowledging them is the first step toward healing. Be patient with yourself and show self-compassion. When you stop trying to fight your feelings, you can start to work through them.

But don’t do it alone.

Complicated grief can cause you to want to isolate yourself, but that’s likely to make your symptoms worse. Grief therapy is often the best way to work through this type of grief and finally find some peace. Through the therapeutic experience, you’ll learn how to process your emotions, work through negative thoughts, and discover healthy coping mechanisms that will help you with everyday symptoms.

Therapy also helps you set realistic goals for yourself. You can break down the healing process into smaller pieces so it doesn’t feel so overwhelming. When you reach each small goal, it can provide a boost of confidence and give you the motivation you need to continue your journey.

Therapy will also encourage you to practice self-care. Doing at least one thing to promote your well-being each day can make a big difference in how you feel, physically and mentally. Self-care practices will help you see how important it is to truly heal and start the next chapter of your life.

Dealing with any kind of loss is never easy, but complicated grief shouldn’t keep you from truly living your life. If you’re ready to start healing, feel free to reach out today.

Can Grief Counseling Help Families?

We often think of grief as a very personal and private thing. In many ways, it is. But, when you lose a loved one, you’re not the only one impacted. 

Everyone grieves in their own way, but when you lose a family member, the whole family is likely to feel the same way. So, while you might go at your own pace through the grief process, now is the time to lean on your family for support and reach out for help as a unit, if necessary. 

Grief counseling can help families process the trauma of losing someone together. It can bring you closer together in a time of sadness and overwhelming emotions and provide you with benefits you might not expect. 

So, whether you’re mourning the loss of a loved one or your family has been through something traumatic together, grief counseling could be the answer. Let’s look at some of the benefits and what to expect. 

The Right Environment

When you’re dealing with grief on your own, it can be tempting to isolate yourself and withdraw from the people and things you love. 

You might think no one really understands what you’re going through. Or, maybe you simply can’t find the motivation to get some help on your own. Grief counseling with your family allows you to work through your emotions in a safe environment. 

You will be able to speak freely about your feelings and listen to how your family is dealing with everything. Everyone’s emotions will be validated, and you might find that you share more emotions with family members than you initially thought. 

Working Through Stages

You’ve probably heard that there are different stages of grief. Working through them as a family can help you feel supported along the way. 

A grief counselor can encourage healthy processing for every family member. That includes accepting that the loss did occur and learning how to move forward. That’s not always easy to do on your own, so having family members who are experiencing the same thing to support you can make a big difference. 

A Stronger Family Connection

As you reach the final stages of grief, you can also take comfort in the fact that you’ve undoubtedly built a stronger connection with your family. Unfortunately, sometimes, it’s the hardest situation that brings us together. But grief counseling can help you realize that you have a support system. You’ll cherish that connection and always have someone who understands the grief you’re experiencing right now. 

What to Expect

Family grief counseling is very similar to individual counseling. Everyone gets a chance to express themselves, and sometimes, hearing how other people feel can give you the confidence to open up. 

As you and your family go through the different stages of grief, seeing how some members are coping and handling things can also motivate you. You can find a light at the end of the tunnel as you see a weight lift away from other members, knowing you can feel that way, too. 

It’s important to feel heard when you’re going through counseling. Having a dedicated time and space for everyone to share and process emotions can make the grieving process feel less overwhelming and isolating. 

By the time you finish counseling, you and your family should be able to move forward with meaning. You don’t have to forget what you lost. But, you’ll have gained the skills necessary to start the next chapter of your lives, knowing you can lean on each other every step of the way. 

Reach out to us to learn more about grief counseling and how it can help you and your family.

How To Deal With Grief When It Feels Like It's Consuming You

Everyone will experience grief at least once in their lifetime. Loss impacts us all, but that never makes it easier to go through. Whether you’ve lost a loved one or you’re grieving the loss of a pet, a job, or even a certain way of life, grief can feel overwhelming. 

While most people have heard of the stages of grief, it can often feel easier said than done to work through them. That’s especially true when it seems like grief is consuming you. 

If the grief you’re going through is preventing you from fully living, and it’s having a negative impact on your quality of life, know you’re not alone. Grief is normal, but it doesn’t have to control you forever. 

With that in mind, let’s cover a few ways you can effectively deal with grief when it feels like it’s consuming you. 

Take Care of Yourself

Self-care might be the last thing on your mind right now. You might even think it’s selfish to take care of yourself when you should be constantly focusing on who/what you’ve lost. 

But, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s a necessity. 

If you’re mourning the loss of a loved one, think about how they would want you to live. They wouldn’t want you to suffer or neglect your basic needs. Use that as motivation to practice self-care every day. 

You don’t need to do anything extravagant or luxurious. Instead, focus on small tasks that can make a big difference. That includes things like exercising, getting enough sleep, eating healthy meals, and socializing with others. 

Spend Time With Loved Ones

Speaking of socialization, make sure you’re getting out and spending time with people you love. Now is the time to lean on your support system. 

While it can be tempting to isolate yourself and spend more time alone, that often makes the symptoms of depression and grief worse. It gives you the opportunity to get “stuck” inside your negative thoughts, and they can start to weigh heavier on you when you feel like there’s no one who can help you and no one to listen. 

You might be surprised to find that some of your loved ones feel the same way as you do. They might be struggling to reach out, too. So, making that first move can benefit you – and perhaps others. 

Reach Out for Help

If you feel like you can’t open up to the people in your life for whatever reason, it’s worth it to seek out the help of others. One option is to join a support group, either in-person or online. 

Connecting with other people who are also feeling overwhelmed by grief can be a big help. Not only will it help you realize you’re not alone, but it can make it easier to see a light at the end of the tunnel. While many people in support groups are in the early stages of grief and could be suffering just as much as you, others have gotten through some of those stages and can offer their advice and support. Seeing how other people have thrived can give you a much-needed sense of hope. 

Alternatively (or additionally), you might consider talking to a mental health professional. Grief is painful, no matter what. But, a therapist can help you work through it and make sure you’re going through the stages in healthy ways. 

Grief doesn’t have to consume your every waking moment. If you feel like you’re not able to escape the crippling clutch of your own grief and you’re ready to reach out for help, feel free to contact us to set up an appointment for grief counseling.

What Is Anticipatory Grief And How Can You Deal With It?

Everyone experiences grief at some point in their life. While we usually think of grief when it comes to the loss of a person, it can also be triggered by the loss of a career, a pet, or even a sense of normality. 

That’s why so many people struggled with grief throughout the COVID-19 pandemic. 

While dealing with some kind of loss in life is practically unavoidable, there’s a type of grief that fewer people are aware of – anticipatory grief. 

Grief can occur before a loss officially happens, especially when it comes to death or a slow-progressing illness that starts to cause limitations and losses. 

Let’s take a closer look at some of the common symptoms of anticipatory grief and how you can deal with them in healthy, effective ways. 

What Are the Signs of Anticipatory Grief?

Anticipatory grief has many of the same signs and symptoms as “traditional” grief. It’s the timing that’s different. Some of the most common symptoms include: 

• Depression

• Anxiety

• Sadness

• Fear

• Guilt

• Loneliness

You might also start to think about what the future will hold once the loss is complete. If you’re already grieving the potential death of a loved one, your mind might race with wondering what your life will be like once they’re gone. 

Unfortunately, that often creates even more fear and uncertainty, promoting a vicious cycle of grief that can be difficult to break free from. 

You might also feel guilty about nearly every thought that comes to mind regarding that person. If you want them to live even though they’re suffering, you might feel guilt over that. If you want their suffering to end and for them to pass, it’s easy to feel ashamed about that, too. 

Those feelings of guilt can be incredibly damaging, leading to negative self-talk and an increased risk of depression. 

How Can Anticipatory Grief Be a Positive Thing?

It’s hard to believe that anything dealing with grief could be considered “good”. 

However, in some cases, anticipatory grief can provide a healthy first step in the healing process. 

For example, if you visit a dying loved one, it’s not going to be easy. It’s a struggle to see someone you care about in such a fragile state. However, those moments together can provide closure, and make the loss seem less sudden and overwhelming. Spending time with that person will make their death easier to accept, rather than dealing with denial for weeks. 

How Can You Cope With Anticipatory Grief? 

Anticipatory grief can give you the time you need to find healthy coping mechanisms. It’s a perfect time to develop a support system of people you can lean on – and those who know they can lean on you, in return. 

If your anticipatory grief stems from the pending loss of a loved one, spend as much time as possible connecting with them. Address any unresolved issues between you, share stories, and if they’re able, spend time doing things you both enjoy. 

Learn as much as you can about what to expect. It won’t necessarily make things less painful, but if someone you love has an illness, knowing more about it can help you recognize some of the more common symptoms, so it won’t feel as overwhelming while they happen. 

Finally, don’t be afraid to reach out for professional support. Anticipatory grief can be just as painful as the loss itself. If you’re trying to get through it but having a hard time accepting what’s about to happen, you’re not alone. Grief counseling can make a big difference in helping you manage your stress while sorting out your thoughts and feelings. 

4 Ways Grief Can Affect The Body

Everyone goes through the stages of grief at a different pace, and the experience can be unique from person to person. 

Still, most people recognize grief as a mental and emotional health issue. There’s no denying that grieving a loss of any kind can wreak havoc on your emotional well-being. It can add extra stress, and even trigger anxiety and/or depression. 

However, grief can also affect the body, manifesting itself in physical ways that often cause problems. 

Whether you’ve recently experienced a loss or you know you’re dealing with grief, it’s important to understand how it might affect the body. Let’s take a look at four common ways grief can take a toll on your physical health.

1. Digestive Issues

One of the most common physical problems people experience when grieving is stomach problems. There are a few reasons for that. 

First, when you’re experiencing a loss, it’s likely that your eating habits will change for a while. You might not be eating as much as you’re used to. Maybe you even forget to eat sometimes because you’re so overwhelmed. 

Other people turn to food as comfort, so you’re eating more than you should, and choosing foods that can cause digestive distress. 

The anxiety you might feel with grief can also contribute to digestive problems, making you feel “queasy” or nauseous more often than not.

2. Pain

Research has shown that grief can cause inflammation throughout the body, leading to pain and discomfort. Some of the most common issues people face include: 

• Headaches

• Muscle pain

• Chest pain

• Back pain

• Neck pain

Some of this pain has to do with tension and stress. However, grief can take a toll on your immune system, making you feel weaker and more susceptible to feelings of pain. Your weakened immune system also makes it easier to get sick, so it’s crucial to take care of your well-being, especially in the days following an extreme loss.

3. Sleep Issues

Stress, sleep, and depression are all closely linked together. The more down you are, the harder it can be to get adequate sleep. 

Unfortunately, the less sleep you get, the easier it is to fall into depression. 

It’s normal to be sad and feel overwhelmed while you’re grieving. But, when that starts to affect your sleep habits, it could lead to a whole host of physical and mental health issues. You’re more likely to feel fatigued, you can get sick easily, and you might have difficulty focusing throughout the day. 

Try to maintain healthy sleep habits as you process your grief, and establish a routine that will make it easier for your mind and body to get the rest they need.

4. Cardiovascular Issues

Did you know that you’re more susceptible to having a heart attack or stroke in the days following an extreme loss? 

A “broken heart” isn’t necessarily a real thing, but experiencing a heavy loss can absolutely take a toll on your cardiovascular health. You might start experiencing chest pains or a dull ache in that area. If you do, it’s important to see a doctor right away, and maintain your health and well-being as much as possible. 

There’s no ideal timeline for getting through the stages of grief. Everyone goes at their own pace. 

What’s important is that you work through and process your grief in healthy, effective ways. If you’re grieving a loss and you’ve noticed any of the physical symptoms listed here, don’t hesitate to reach out for help quickly. Feel free to contact us to set up an appointment for grief counseling. Together, we’ll work on healthy ways of understanding your loss and coping with your grief so you can move forward and take charge of your physical and mental well-being.