How To Communicate With Your Partner When They Have ADHD

We tend to think of ADHD as a disorder that impacts children. But, those children grow up. ADHD doesn’t just disappear during adulthood. 

While many adults are able to manage their symptoms fairly well, it’s still important to understand that the condition is still a part of who they are. 

When you’re in a relationship with someone who has ADHD, you might have to make adjustments to how you communicate. You’ll also have to be open to understanding where they’re coming from and how their mind processes things. 

Can it be difficult at times? Of course. But, relationships rely on healthy communication, and being able to foster that in your relationship is important. 

Let’s cover a few tips you can use to strengthen your communication with your partner when they have ADHD. 

Be Patient With Your Partner

One of the most important and helpful things you can do to better communicate with your partner is to show more patience. It’s important in every relationship, but even more so when your partner has ADHD. 

They might have a hard time communicating their thoughts and feelings the same way you do. Everyday tasks like work or school can feel overwhelming to them. 

On top of that, their frustrations can easily turn into fears if they feel like you’re struggling to understand them. Unfortunately, that piles on the stress even more, and can cause their symptoms to worsen. 

ADHD isn’t something someone chooses to have. Keep that in mind as your partner tries to talk to you, and show them the patience they deserve. 

Focus On Their Strengths

Everyone communicates differently. Some people are better speakers. Some are better listeners. Pay attention to your partner’s strengths and weaknesses when it comes to communication efforts. Do they get frustrated easily when they can’t get their point across? Do they lose focus quickly? 

Instead of letting those struggles throw a wrench in your communication efforts, choose to focus on their strengths, not their weaknesses. 

Work together to find ways to communicate that “bypass” those weaknesses. That might include breaking conversations up into smaller sessions. Or, you might consider using visuals or other things that will help your partner stay focused. 

Treat Them As an Equal

If you feel like you have to “parent” your partner, you’re never going to have a relationship based on equality and respect. 

Adults with ADHD might need some help and encouragement as they go through everyday tasks. But, there’s a difference between offering that encouragement as their equal and treating them like a child. 

One of the worst things you can do is criticize or lecture your partner when they aren’t communicating the way you think they should. While you can (and should) express your needs and offer suggestions, they shouldn’t be made to feel like they’re wrong just because certain areas of communication are difficult. 

If you do go that route, you’re more likely to experience more frequent arguments. Your partner might even start to resent you and the way you treat them. 

Educate Yourself on ADHD

Again, ADHD is a real and legitimate disorder. Some people are able to manage their symptoms better than others. But, at the end of the day, it’s crucial to understand how your partner thinks and where they’re coming from in terms of communication. 

Learn as much as you can about ADHD, in general, and utilize your partner as a source of information. Dig into their thought process. Ask questions. Not only will it show them that you’re invested in the relationship and where it’s going, but you want to make communication a priority so your bond becomes stronger. 

Connect with us soon to learn more about the benefits ADHD Treatment and Couples Counseling.